This is a toolbox, not a checklist. You are not meant to run the whole list on every table. Learn the moves so you know them cold, then reach for the right one at the right moment. Every table does get four or five touch points where a suggestion fits: drinks, the order, the rounds, the finish. Use those.
What this replaces is generic-sounding salesman language, which has never worked: "Would you like a drink?" "Can I get you anything to start?" Those get a no. The moves below are what to say instead.
Rules for every move
- Never ask a question that can be answered yes or no. Yes/no questions get "no" 70% of the time. "What's everyone drinking?" not "Any drinks?"
- Change the way you word things. If a guest hears the same line twice, it's a script.
- Bring it with you to the table, or show other tables. Walking cocktails through the restaurant sells more cocktails; people eat with their eyes. The dessert on the way past, the bottle in hand, the sauce on the table. Seeing it sells it.
- Paint the picture. Don't name the dish, describe it: "beef rib, twelve hours in ironbark smoke, falls off the bone."
- Scarcity is real here. BBQ is until sold out, Thor's Hammer is first come first served. "There's two Hammers left, want me to hold one?"
- Taste to tempt. A spoon of the Nuclear Wave, a sip of a beer to try. Manager's call on what's allowed for tasting.
- Read the table before you say anything. Who's deciding for the table? How much presence do they want? Is this a date, a family, a work lunch?
- Say something every time you touch the table, even just "cheers". Silence is a missed window.
- Pick up what they say and use it. Heard it's a birthday, heard someone loves spice: that's your next move.
For the right moment
- Make it sound small. A decision that sounds like less of a commitment works often: "A splash of the Shiraz?", "A couple of Oink Balls for the table?", "Two spoons?"
Drinks
The Opener
Table sits down: open with a specific drink, never "do you want drinks?"
"What's everyone starting with? Espresso martinis are going well tonight, or the Smokey Passion Martini if you want one built for the meat."
Day and families: milkshakes (Oreo, Key Lime Pie, Nutella), iced coffee, or a jug of raspberry lemonade.
The Tower
Three or more on the same tap beer, first round, food ordered, no intox signs: suggest the 2.8L tower. Sell convenience, not price.
"All on The Usual? Grab a tower, it's at the table the whole time and nobody's chasing rounds."
Same move for cocktails: Long Island, Fruit Tingle and Don't Be Blue all come as 2.8L towers.
The Step-Up
Spirit ordered by category: offer the house pour and one named premium. Never talk down the house.
"House gin, or go the Four Pillars?"
Bourbon: Jim Beam or Maker's Mark. Vodka: house or Belvedere. Rum: Bacardi or Kraken. Scotch: Johnnie Red or Black.
The Zero Option
Not drinking or driving: offer a Great Northern Zero or a mocktail (Apple Martini, Passionfruit New York Sour, Tiramisu), once, then water with a smile.
The order
The Platter
Three or more ordering separate mains: steer to a platter.
"Four of you? The Platter for 4 is the way to go, bit of everything and it all lands together."
Platters run 1, 2, 4, 6 and the Platter of Doom. Mention the Thor's Hammer for a table that wants the show, and that it needs 45 minutes. Why it matters: four separate mains is about $165, the Platter for 4 is $299, and the table eats better.
The Side
All-meat order, no sides: name the right side for the dish. Never "any sides?"
Crispy Coleslaw to cut through, Cheesy Corn Bread to mop up, Smoked Mac and Cheese with platters, Glazed Mushrooms with beef rib.
The Meat Up
At the order, not after: anyone ordering a single meat or a burger, add a second meat at its upgrade price. Read the table first, big eaters, blokes, anyone eyeing the next plate over. Never offer it once the plate's cleaned, that's a 30-minute wait for the second meat. Pitch it as a bigger feed, never as a price.
"Brisket's great, but a beef rib alongside it is the move."
Pork Ribs $20.90, Beef Rib $29.30, Wings $14.60, Kransky $9.50, Half Chicken $40.80, Lamb $19.30.
The Fries
Burger with no side: Waffle Fries or Onion Rings.
"Waffle fries with that? They hold the sauce better than chips."
Cheeseburger Royale or Classic ordered: offer the double patty or Candy Bacon on top.
The Starter
Fifteen-plus minute wait or a big table still deciding: starters for the table while they wait.
"Oink Balls and a plate of Bacon Candy to keep the table going?"
Also Spicy Wings, Ribsy or Pulled Pork sliders.
The rounds
The Next Round
Glass under a third: offer before they ask, either/or, same category.
"Same again, or switch to the Twisted Palm?"
Off for any intox sign, drivers, or a table that just said no.
The finish
The Sweet Finish
Mains cleared, table lingering: name the dessert and the coffees in one ask, dessert carried to the table if you can.
"Key Lime Pie, two spoons if you're sharing? And who's on coffees?"
Pecan, Key Lime, Nutella and Peanut Butter pies, or the Affogato with Frangelico, Kahlua, Baileys or Cointreau. Platter tables: any pie is $9.50 if it's ordered with the platter, so pitch it at the order, not the finish. Not if the bill's been asked for.
Hard rules
- Any sign of intoxication: every alcohol move is off. The Zero Option stays on.
- One ask per move. A no is a no.
- Your words, not the script. Natural, never pushy.